An Interview With Brett Favre
I'm sure everyone has seen or heard the news that Brett Favre has second thoughts (again) on whether or not he should have retired at the end of last season. He has yet again led fans to believe that he may come back for one more season, only this time with a team other than the Jets since he has asked to be released from the retired/inactive list, giving him unrestricted free agency and the ability to sign with any team he wants.
It has been speculated that he is considering a season with the Minnesota Vikings, and he was supposed to have a conversation with Vikings' head coach Brad Childress sometime this week to discuss the possibility of Favre playing this season.
I was fortunate to have Brett Favre pay a visit to the couch for a Q&A session before his alleged meeting with Childress ... and here's what we had to talk about.
TCP: So Brett, what's the deal? Are you coming back or not?
Favre: Why is that so important? What difference does it make right now if I am coming back or not? I mean, geez, can't a man think about un-retiring before everybody gets all up in a wad about whether or not I'm going to come back?
TCP: Brett, you know that we have to know what you're thinking and doing at all times. I mean, just look back at last summer ... the 24/7 coverage of your every move should be enough evidence that we are people who must know what you are doing at all times.
Favre: Yeah, how could I forget? I love to have constant attention on me.
TCP: Is that why you're coming back then?
Favre: Yes ... that and to beat Green Bay and to prove that John was right when he said I was the best quarterback to ever play in the NFL.
TCP: John ... you mean John Madden?
Favre: Yeah ... he says I'm the greatest quarterback in NFL history. He calls me every Monday to remind me ... it makes me feel special.
TCP: So even though you're the NFL career interceptions leader, you think you're the greatest quarterback ever?
Favre: You see ... I look at interceptions differently than everyone else. To me, they should count as pass completions ... at least someone caught the ball. It doesn't matter to me that he was on defense, I'm so good that anybody can catch my passes.
TCP: Okay, okay ... if you say so.
Favre: I do say so.
TCP: Good ... so why Minnesota of all places?
Favre: Well, when nobody else wants you, you can't be choosy. And besides, Brad Childress has the coolest porn-stache in the NFL.
TCP: So, you're going to Minnesota because of a cool moustache?
Favre: It's not just a moustache ... it's a porn-stache. And, yes ... I am even thinking about growing one myself.
TCP: How does your wife feel about this?
Favre: The porn-stache?
TCP: No, the coming out of retirement.
Favre: Oh ... she doesn't know about that yet.
TCP: You mean you haven't told her?
Favre: Well ... not exactly. She thinks that I am meeting with the NFL about being a tv analyst. She doesn't know that I am thinking about playing again ... if I tell her she won't let me.
TCP: Why won't she let you?
Favre: She says I'm too old and that my arm strength is gone ... she thinks my career is over.
TCP: But I thought you said it was over.
Favre: Nah ... I just said that to get out of New York ... man those guys up there are crazy.
TCP: Which guys?
Favre: All of them ... especially Mangini ... he would always tell me to slow down and make smart plays ... especially after I would complete a pass to the defense. I mean, has he ever seen me play? Doesn't he know that I don't slow down and make smart plays ... I shoot from the hip and let what happens happen.
TCP: You know, that's the first thing you've said that actually makes sense.
Favre: You mean that's the first thing you've understood.
TCP: To each his own, I guess. So Brett, tell me straight up ... will you be back in the NFL this season, or will you stay retired?
Favre: I think you know the answer to that.
TCP: You're right Brett, you're absolutely right.
So folks, you've heard it here first ... Brett Favre will return to the NFL next season with the Minnesota Vikings. He will lead the Vikings to a 7-2 start, only to have them collapse midway through the year when his arm gives out (again) ... and the Vikings will finish with an 8-8 record and miss out on the playoffs.
And then he will retire again ... only to start this vicious cycle next summer when he starts calling up the Detroit Lions for a spot on the roster.
It has been speculated that he is considering a season with the Minnesota Vikings, and he was supposed to have a conversation with Vikings' head coach Brad Childress sometime this week to discuss the possibility of Favre playing this season.
I was fortunate to have Brett Favre pay a visit to the couch for a Q&A session before his alleged meeting with Childress ... and here's what we had to talk about.
TCP: So Brett, what's the deal? Are you coming back or not?
Favre: Why is that so important? What difference does it make right now if I am coming back or not? I mean, geez, can't a man think about un-retiring before everybody gets all up in a wad about whether or not I'm going to come back?
TCP: Brett, you know that we have to know what you're thinking and doing at all times. I mean, just look back at last summer ... the 24/7 coverage of your every move should be enough evidence that we are people who must know what you are doing at all times.
Favre: Yeah, how could I forget? I love to have constant attention on me.
TCP: Is that why you're coming back then?
Favre: Yes ... that and to beat Green Bay and to prove that John was right when he said I was the best quarterback to ever play in the NFL.
TCP: John ... you mean John Madden?
Favre: Yeah ... he says I'm the greatest quarterback in NFL history. He calls me every Monday to remind me ... it makes me feel special.
TCP: So even though you're the NFL career interceptions leader, you think you're the greatest quarterback ever?
Favre: You see ... I look at interceptions differently than everyone else. To me, they should count as pass completions ... at least someone caught the ball. It doesn't matter to me that he was on defense, I'm so good that anybody can catch my passes.
TCP: Okay, okay ... if you say so.
Favre: I do say so.
TCP: Good ... so why Minnesota of all places?
Favre: Well, when nobody else wants you, you can't be choosy. And besides, Brad Childress has the coolest porn-stache in the NFL.
TCP: So, you're going to Minnesota because of a cool moustache?
Favre: It's not just a moustache ... it's a porn-stache. And, yes ... I am even thinking about growing one myself.
TCP: How does your wife feel about this?
Favre: The porn-stache?
TCP: No, the coming out of retirement.
Favre: Oh ... she doesn't know about that yet.
TCP: You mean you haven't told her?
Favre: Well ... not exactly. She thinks that I am meeting with the NFL about being a tv analyst. She doesn't know that I am thinking about playing again ... if I tell her she won't let me.
TCP: Why won't she let you?
Favre: She says I'm too old and that my arm strength is gone ... she thinks my career is over.
TCP: But I thought you said it was over.
Favre: Nah ... I just said that to get out of New York ... man those guys up there are crazy.
TCP: Which guys?
Favre: All of them ... especially Mangini ... he would always tell me to slow down and make smart plays ... especially after I would complete a pass to the defense. I mean, has he ever seen me play? Doesn't he know that I don't slow down and make smart plays ... I shoot from the hip and let what happens happen.
TCP: You know, that's the first thing you've said that actually makes sense.
Favre: You mean that's the first thing you've understood.
TCP: To each his own, I guess. So Brett, tell me straight up ... will you be back in the NFL this season, or will you stay retired?
Favre: I think you know the answer to that.
TCP: You're right Brett, you're absolutely right.
So folks, you've heard it here first ... Brett Favre will return to the NFL next season with the Minnesota Vikings. He will lead the Vikings to a 7-2 start, only to have them collapse midway through the year when his arm gives out (again) ... and the Vikings will finish with an 8-8 record and miss out on the playoffs.
And then he will retire again ... only to start this vicious cycle next summer when he starts calling up the Detroit Lions for a spot on the roster.
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